Criminalizing the Pursuit of Happiness by George Ziemann -- June 8, 2007 The Declaration of Independence calls the pursuit of happiness an "inalienable right." You can still pursue happiness, I guess, but if you actually find some, you're almost assuredly breaking the law. It used to be fun to be a musician. Maybe I was just lucky to start out in Ohio in the 70's. The repression of the McCarthy era was over and the infamous "Summer of Love" (1967) and Woodstock (1969) had already passed, leaving us in a comfortable place between the extremes, although Kent State (1970) was still recent enough to provide the young an impetus to rebel against authority. Not that authority was much of a problem then. The general rule of thumb seemed to be that if you weren't bothering or endangering anyone, authority preferred to ignore you. The War on Drugs had just started, to which the people of Ohio immediately responded by making possession of a half-pound of pot a misdemeanor. That meant the cop checking IDs at the door did not even question if the entire band went outside during every break, even when it was about 10 degrees, in December, during a blizzard. He really didn't care. I think the most repressive thing we encountered came on Sept. 21, 1975, when we played at a place called The Pub in Iola, Kansas. It was illegal to dance. It may have also been illegal to drink, but maybe that was just on Sundays. We thought it was a joke, like a real-life version of Footloose and Kevin Bacon would show up any minute to straighten shit out. Sadly, he did not, so I took my $6 and left quietly. Even sadder, it seems to be the current trend in New York. You can't dance if you want to unless the club has a special cabaret license. People have been complaining about this since at least 2000, and they're still trying to change it. Unsuccessfully, so far. This same law once required all musicians to be "of good moral character", like it was ever possible to hang out in bars five or six nights a week and still be Dudley Doright. The band's moral character doesn't matter any more, but you still can't dance. And neither you nor the band can smoke. Arizona, as always, takes stupid a couple of steps further. First of all, musicians are not allowed to drink onstage. Sheriff Joe Arpaio has a tent city full of pot smokers, so that's not a wise method of inebriation, either. Drinking is still legal, but I've been on a jury that sentenced a woman to jail for driving while "slightly" under the influence, based on the aberrant behavior that the light turned red and she stopped. We had determined that on a scale of zero to 10, with 10 being totally shitfaced and zero being stone sober, any answer above zero was "slightly" intoxicated. This alone is enough to keep people out of the nightclubs, especially the people of questionable moral character who are musicians. You'd almost think it would make more sense to buy a generator and set up gigs out in the middle of the desert, until you realize that Arizona's laws make New York's cabaret laws look progressive. We can't dance outside. Anywhere two people get up and dance is apparently a dance hall by default, possibly including my back yard, and all dance halls must be fully enclosed structures. Way too damn many rules today. It's the antithesis of the rock and roll spirit. It's why you don't hear as many good bands as you used to.